Employee asks girlfriend to take son to school so he can start work early, dismisses her when she gets a warning about attendance from her boss

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Mar 15, 2026 9:00 PM EDT

Having a full-time job while raising kids is a constant balancing act, one that many working parents and carers feel like they are always getting wrong. Each demands a significant chunk of your time, and while most would argue that keeping a whole human being safe and happy is more important than stressing out over KPIs, giving children a quality of life normally requires some kind of income.

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  • A professional woman uses her laptop with a wireless mouse while sitting at her desk
    via Unsplash+ Community (Unsplash+)

    A professional woman uses her laptop with a wireless mouse while sitting at her desk

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Am I wrong for being upset that helping with my partner’s son led to a work warning and he wouldn’t acknowledge it?

    Trying to figure out if I'm overreacting here. My partner and I split responsibilities with his young son, and I help a lot with the day- to-day stuff school drop-offs, after-school care, activities, general logistics.
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  • I just started a new job and I've adjusted my work schedule so I can show up and be supportive because I care about both of them.
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  • Today he asked me to do a morning drop-off on a day I don't do it because there's a late start.
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  • Coparenting should be a team effort, and one where each can take turns to make certain sacrifices in the workplace in order to ensure that they can keep up with childcare duties. Even if parents are lucky to have an understanding employer, there are limits to the grace they will be given for the sake of their kids. The bottom line is that a manager is going to care more about doing the job than a child's daily schedule.

    Unfortunately, it is very easy for responsibilities between those caring for children while working to become unbalanced. When someone is super focused on work, they may not care so much that their partner is suffering for picking up the slack at home.

  • My partner communicate to me that he needed help doing so because he needs to be at work early tomorrow.
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  • To make that happen, I texted my manager to ask if I could come in late so I could handle his son's drop-off time.
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  • She ended up replying with a warning about attendance and reliability during training, which honestly made my stomach drop.
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  • Working parents and guardians can be especially vulnerable to being punished for doing their own childcare when things change in the workplace, whether that is a new manager or a whole new job. This is a time when making a good impression is vital, and shirking responsibility cannot be a good look, even when it is only replaced by other responsibilities. It is one of those times when a coparent should be able to step up and take on more with the kids.

  • "Hi (Insert Name), thanks for the update. I'm glad you were able to figure out childcare for tomorrow and that you'll be able to be here at 8.
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  • As we've talked about before, consistent attendance is really important, especially during your training period. Being present helps you get the most out of training and also helps build trust with the team as everyone relies on each other to keep clinic flow running smoothly.
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  • When I'm in the clinic on Thursday I'd also like to take a few minutes to review our clinic expectations sheet with you so we're on the same page moving forward." I told my partner I was really upset and overwhelmed and just needed a little support in the moment.
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  • A dad in the driver's seat of a car looks towards his son in the back seat, who is being helped by a woman sitting beside him with his backpack
    via Curated Lifestyle (Unsplash+)

    A dad in the driver's seat of a car looks towards his son in the back seat, who is being helped by a woman sitting beside him with his backpack

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Instead it turned into him saying he didn't do anything wrong and didn't have anything to apologize for.
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  • The conversation just went downhill from there. I wasn't looking for some huge dramatic apology. Just something simple like, "Hey, I'm sorry that put you in a tough spot.
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  • I appreciate you doing that." I just wanted to feel like we're a team. Instead he said, "I don't need to say sorry.
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  • I did nothing wrong. Wtf is wrong with you" "You could have said no and I told you I would handle it.
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  • No one asked you to come to living room to ask after I said don't worry about it" "Leave me alone.
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  • I'm not being mean but you trying to guilt trip me for anything is extremely fucked up" I would also like to add that we've looked into after school care and before school care it's an added $50-75 per week and that I've chosen to alternate my schedule to help alienate that financial burden for us.
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  • So now I'm sitting here wondering if I'm being too sensitive, or if it's reasonable to want basic acknowledgment and kindness when you're trying to support your partner and their kid.
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  • For people in blended family / co- parenting situations - is this just normal stress stuff, or is it fair to expect more accountability and emotional support from your partner?
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  • Small groups of parents and children mingle outside a school
    via Andrej Lišakov (Unsplash+)

    Small groups of parents and children mingle outside a school

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • Sir_Loxington Need more info. He said, "You could have said no and I told you I would handle it." Is this true? If you had told him you couldn't would he have dealt with it for you? Because if so I'm not sure what you're mad about; he isn't a mind reader.
    via Sir_Loxington
  • Spiritual-Rabbit-834 Original Poster's Reply Info: I told him that I don't know if I could do that and then he said he would do it. The way he did it was really huffy so I told him I would ask as there's no harm in doing so. I was wrong - there were repercussions for asking.
    via Spiritual-Rabbit-834
  • AvsGrams I think it was unfair of him not to acknowledge the hardship it put you under. In the future, I'd stick to the planned schedule. If a change pops up, that's on him, not you.
    via AvsGrams
  • sofiaa_torez It might be worth setting a boundary going forward. you can help sometimes, but not if it risks your job
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  • Elegant-Opinion-9595 NOR: Where is the child's mother? Your bf is expecting a lot.
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  • Lower_Edge_1083 You're going to end up fired. Are you even married?
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  • cthulhusmercy I'll be honest, it sounds like he asked you for a favor, told you if you couldnt do it things were fine, you decided to ask your boss, and now you're getting unexpected push back from a shitty employer and that's what's causing your anxiety here, not him. You had an expectation that he would apologize, but he's absolutely right that he has nothing to apologize for and I'm not surprised he's confused over why you're mad at him. He's not the problem here, your new boss jumping straig
    via cthulhusmercy
  • Life_Scratch_2807 NOR moving forward, never take off time, Never! He just showed you that he is willing to allow you to come to harm who showing no concern. You need to set boundaries with childcare. You can't be expected to miss work, period.
    via Life_Scratch_2807
  • ScoogyShoes So after he said don't worry about it, you tracked him down to say you would do it? Did I read that correctly, did that happen?
    via ScoogyShoes

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boss babysitter school employee manager work parenting late
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